Child sexual abuse is sexual activity with a child by an adult, an adolescent, or an older child. When any adult engages in sexual activity with a child, that is child sexual abuse. It is a crime in all 50 states. When sexual activity involves another child or an adolescent, it is not always so clear. Some kinds of sexual behavior among children might be innocent explorations rather than abuse.
Sexual abuse occurs when a person forces a child to have any form of sexual conduct or makes a child perform sexual acts. Sexual abuse may involve:
These acts are abuse even when the offender says they were gentle and did not hurt the child.
Sexual abuse is also known as molestation and exploitation. Sexual molestation does not always mean sexual intercourse. Sometimes older children molest younger or smaller children. Sexual acts between children become molestation when one child uses coercion, force, or violence to get the other child to do the acts. Young molesters should be reported to the Department for Children and Families (DCF) so they may receive help
Sexual molestation is overwhelming to children, especially when an adult is involved. Most children are taught to trust adults. They tend to believe what adults tell them is true rather than to rely on their own feelings. This works against them in two ways. If the molester tells them that what is being done is “okay”, they might doubt their own feelings that it is not. If a parent’s initial reaction when they hear the child’s disclosure of abuse is, “This can’t be true!”, the child may wonder if his or her own feelings are mistaken.
Children almost never tell of abuse “to create problems.” More often, children fear that telling will make people angry with them.
It is extremely difficult for any abuse victim to disclose the abuse.
Children's Advocacy Centers - often called CACs - are places across the country where children benefit from One Unified Response to reports of child abuse.
In the past, children were forced to endure countless meetings with different professionals in order to make a report of abuse, for the abuse to be investigated by law enforcement and again by child protective services (the Department for Children and Families or SRS), for any needed medical examinations to be conducted, for the child to receive mental health counseling and support. Now Central Vermont's children can receive all of the needed services through OUR House and OUR partners.
What is a Special Investigative Unit or SIU?
A Special Investigative Unit - often called an SIU - is a multi-disciplinary task force that investigates sexually based crimes against adults, as well as children. An SIU uses similar methods to help all sex crime victims that Children's Advocacy Centers have been using for children.
What is a "mandated reporter"?
The term "mandated reporter" means anyone who learns about potential child abuse that is required to tell the Department for Children and Families (DCF) about the potential abuse. OUR House personnel are mandated reporters. If you tell anyone who works at OUR House about child abuse, we must - by law - report the abuse to DCF. Almost everyone who works with children is a mandated reporter.
There are also mandated reporters for adult victims of abuse. Anyone who works within law enforcement must report potential abuse. For example, a Victim Advocate who works for the State's Attorney must tell about any possible abuse. A rape crisis counselor is NOT required to tell.
Statistics show that child sexual abuse occurs at an alarming rate. Most reliable studies in the U.S. Show that at least 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 7 boys will be sexually abused before age 18. It is estimated that less than one victim in ten will ever tell. In fact, Vermont has a higher reported rate of sexual abuse than the rest of the nation.
People who molest children come in all shapes and sizes, racial and socioeconomic backgrounds. In 95% of all cases of child sexual abuse in Vermont, the victim knew the abuser either as a relative or family friend. The Vermont report on Child Abuse and Neglect states that 45% of the perpetrators were boys under the age of 20.
There is an imbalance of power. Children are often dependent on adults or older children in their lives. They often trust or like the person who is molesting them. Children often know little about sexuality and they don’t always know that what is happening to them is not OK. If a child is threatened or scared he or she may not know how to tell or ask for help. It is important to remember that child sexual abuse is never the child’s fault; it is always the fault of the offender.
People who have been successfully treated for child sexual abuse often describe feelings of despair and loneliness, which usually proceeds victimizing a child. For many, this is a pattern that began when they were abused as children. Abusers often become “hooked” on using children to achieve sexual arousal and their control of the situation leads to a sense of power. This is a hard concept for many to understand. However, understanding the reasons why someone abuses a child is never an excuse or permission for them to act on their impulses.
With full accountability for his or her crimes, specialized treatment, and adequate support groups, a sex offender can learn to control his or her abusive behavior. Like many other diseases and dysfunctions (e.g., alcoholism) we cannot expect a cure, but we can expect control of behavior throughout a lifetime.
Children are more apt to under report than make a false report. Much controversy stems from parents who believe their adult children falsely accuse them of sexual abuse. At issue for these parents is whether adults can recall abuse from childhood that was previously forgotten. The media also publicizes allegations of sexual abuse in a variety of divorce proceedings. These cases raise questions regarding the reliability of reporting sexual abuse. This is not an easy topic for anyone. However, when we weigh the number of false reports against the number of children who have been sexually abused, we know that we must not turn away out of fear of a false report. What we can learn from these cases is the importance of asking careful questions and not jumping to false conclusions based on little or no evidence. We must be able to respect every individual in each situation.
Yes, healing form child sexual abuse is possible. We have many wonderful examples of children healing from the child abuse and living out caring and productive lives. Key to the healing process is the opportunity to deal directly with the abusive situation and having support from significant people in the child’s life. Anyone responsible for an abused child should ensure adequate treatment for that child through private or publicly available programs. OUR House is a resource for people in the Washington County area. Vermont now has six other Children’s Advocacy Centers as well.
Yes, you can give your children the skills, knowledge, and ability to protect themselves from abuse. For, instance, children need to know what kinds of touches are OK and what touches are not OK. They need to have a sense of being able to control their own bodies in exchange for physical affection. The need to have assertive techniques for telling someone not to touch them, and they need to have confidence in an adult who will believe and protect them if told about an incident. Always know where your child is and whom she/he is with. Teach your child the correct names for body parts to give them a comfortable language. Listen to your child. Remind children that they have your permission to tell if someone touches them in a not OK way. Define family boundaries, and periodically review personal safety as a total family.
One of the most important things a parent can do is respond in a calm and matter of fact manner.
Listen to the words and feelings of your child and observe their body language.
Try to find out what happened and reassure them that they have done nothing wrong. Let them know that you are glad that they told and that you will do what ever you can to keep them safe.
Many people are tempted to handle the disclosure on their own. Yet, because sexual abuse involves some very complicated dynamics and is against the law, it is important to seek professional help.
Call OUR House, your local Children's Advocacy Center, or the Department for Children and Famlies.
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For more information, please call us at 802-476-8825.